If I had known what was gonna happen
I wouldn’t be here.

Had I known who I was gonna be
I wouldn’t be here.

Had I known how hard it was
for me to get the love I desire
I wouldn’t be here.

No one told me how rough it is
or if they did I didn’t believe.
Now I just want to scream at everyone
who doesn’t already know:
“I don’t want to be here.”

I don’t wanna be here if all I do
is ruin the days of everyone around.

I don’t wanna be here if all I do
is sit here and wish I was loved.

Had I known how much hate
I’d harbor for things beyond control
I wouldn’t be here.

It’s hard to cry for things
that don’t change and never will.

It’s hard to cry for things
you tried so hard to care for.

If I cried for all the things
worth crying over everyday
I would never stop.

No one told me how hopeless it is
or if they did I didn’t listen.
Now I feel like I have no other choice
then to tell the people around me
“I’m sorry but I’m gone.”




The alarm clock bids me good morning! I’m not fully awake yet, but enough to check the time. The small, north-facing window’s light barely makes it into the bedroom, now washed over in light gray stripes of sunlight through the blinds. Everything’s a mess. No coordination, no cleanliness, no reason. I sit up, reluctantly and look at my computer screen across the room from me. Someone’s making jokes about Minecraft with friends at a volume too quiet for me to quite hear. I shift off the side of the bed and shuffle across the grey carpeted floor to turn it off.